Hi Doc,
I am working for an MNC in malysia . I am in love with a girl for past 2+ years.I am now facing a problem - the girl is now refusing to marry me We met in our first company during boot camp training. We both had same wavelength and soon we started talking to each other over phone and during training often. we used to discuss everything, but i was concerned that she is talking to other boys too. Once she spoke with a senior colleague over phone for 3 hours and i cant hide my feelings to her so i broke down saying that i dont like her talking to other boys.
After her training she got her onsite travel opportunity she travelled to US for 6 months From the day of her departure i started calling her and was crying not to leave me.when i cam to know she went with my friends to movies without me, i shouted at her.many times i pleaded her that i cant live without her. now she says she cant marry me because of cast reason. i wanted your sincere advise .
Dear James,
i am very happy to know your sincere attempt to improve yourself. Relationship cannot be fixed. this has to be understood impartially.i am your well wisher, i have gone through your case 4 to 5 times before carefully replying you. please take it in good spirit,please introspect on the following points
1.Ae you not becoming over possessive of your girl friend ?
2 suppose you brother or sister brings his or her close friend to your house,will that person will be your close friend ?3 Will that person will be your mother's close fiend ? 4 will that person become your father's close friend?
5 will you make him a close friend as close as your brother or sister accepts ?
definitely the answer is " no" " NOOOOOOOO'
My dear friend,similarly it is a wrong perception to think, that because u like her ,she will also be liked equally by all the family members. How do you say you are loving he for the past 2 years ? Did she spell she is also in love with you for 2 years?i am a psychologist, my wife is also a psychologist, but my secretary is a better psychologist than my wife.My wife is having 101many qualities, which are far superior to my secretary.Had i opted for my secretary i would have won in my profession, i would have lost in my life by 100 times.
You like her but you do not love her
You want her to be your toy not your wife
The love for your wife should be unconditional,
The liking for your friend is conditional
My suggestionis you develop unconditional love, please do not think of marriage . You like her, but your not matured enough to marry, not only this girl any other girl in general with this type of behavior .My suggestion is you should not marry any girl until you come out his possessiveness, you should immediately go for some professional help.
please take it in good spirit and look for some profssional help -------wish you all success
Dr Sunderam
09246810468
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